I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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