How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
