I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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