sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
