Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You're like the curious george of whores
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
