Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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