Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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