Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
