maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
