Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
