Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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