Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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