from now on my penis is your penis
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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