Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
