Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
