i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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