Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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