And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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