my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
