I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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