That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
