3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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