I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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