Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
We are all done wearing pants today
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
