finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
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