As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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