Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
