I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
