You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
