I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Randomize
