Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
