Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
