I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
