i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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