my mouth tastes like poor choices
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize
