If i come over, it means nothing
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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