You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
