We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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