Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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