Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I smell like Dick and happiness
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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