I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
