ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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