I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
PANTIES FOUND
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
