I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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