I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
