I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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