is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
