dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Two words: blizzard sex
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
