omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
