I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
